But a Faded Memory
by WingedWolf101
Summary: In the later years after saving his brother, Edward has put the military life behind him. Alphonse, now a human, has married and produced a few kids of his own. But, the younger Elric becomes to distracted to see the condition ailing his brother. The beloved old days were memorable, memories that will always be alive within Edward. Even when he himself is becoming a distant memory.


_A/N: Before reading, please know this a one-shot. Warning, going to be extremely bittersweet.  
_

* * *

But a Faded Memory

Ed had laid under the blood soaked floor, a large piece of steal had stabbed its way through his side. Feeling the strong arms of Gorilla chimera hoist him into an upright sitting position, his back against his huge hairy chest. He repositioned Edward's to his side and then gripped his shoulders, as if to prevent Ed from running off. Ed gritted his teeth from the pain as a huge lion chimera now approached him.

"You're going to bleed to death pretty quickly, when I pull this out."

Ed tightened his fist, knowing all too well of the risk of this course of action. "Not if I heal it... first." He spat out weakly, cherry red blood staining his lips.

The gorilla man, Darrius, seemed to be in doubt against this plan, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Have you ever performed any medical alchemy before?"

"Yes, you're going to need a philosopher stone to make this work." The lion man added after his companion, like they knew anything about alchemy.

With hallow eyes, he stared up into the ceiling hole they had fallen through, made by Kimblee. "I'm going to have to use my own life force, the same I would use a stone." More blood flew from his lips as his erratic coughing worsened, his back bucked from every cough as if he was about to lose a lung. The huge steel pole protruding out of him kept him in place, tearing the skin further.

Then, the moment came, Ed drew his hands near as his look sharpened, remembering what it was like—to use souls.

The pain came in full throttle as the beastly man sickeningly ripped the bar from Ed's side. It was a slow process, the metal inching its way out of his body inch by inch. Darrius looked quit frightened as he desperately held the screaming alchemist's shoulders, ceasing his agonizing thrashes.

"Ahh!" Ed screamed, feeling like his organs relinquish gross gushing noises as more blood flew from the movement of the steel.

 _Remember!_ His mind screamed, commanded him. _Remember—how it felt… t-to use souls!_ The memory of the fleshy un-people attached onto Envy's green true form appeared, their faces dissolving into alchemic matter as Ed used them as a toll payment to pass through the portal of truth.

Then, it came, the steel pipe was yanked out of him, leaving nothing but a giant bloody hole in its wake. Slapping his hands together, Ed commanded the alchemic energy to wash upon his skin, feeling his soul get scissored in half in exchange for the restoration of his current wound.

…..

That moment, he had saved his life with the thanks of equivalent exchange. Of course, that was many years ago, not today.

Now Ed, a fully adult in his 20's, sat on the step of central command, a suitcase in hand with a dark grey jacket flowing behind him. He had finally done it, conquered truth, received his arm back, and most importantly… restored his brother's body.

Now Al was as beaming and vibrant as Ed had remembered, always running around, and growing healthier every day. He cut his hair back to the short and neat style, not that Ed minded, but he had to admit, long hair did compliment his brother's face. I mean, who does not love long hair? He kept his long throughout his entire life!

Al and Ed split up for a few months, traveling to different sides of the world to explore new alchemy. After a few years, Al had wrote in a letter that he was taking break and returned to Resembool for some nice peace and quiet. He also jotted down on the bottom, P.S., for Ed to return soon.

Everything was going happy, right? Well, that's what first impressions would assume.

Ed had sacrificed his alchemy to pull Al's body from the portal, after he'd pain-shakenly tackled and destroyed the Father of the Homunculus. While his baby brother retained his abilities, Ed had become a normal person. Not that he minded it, a human being was all he had been, and it was joyful to have everything back after ridding himself of the one thing he obsessed over his entire life. He fixed the problem, now he no longer needed alchemy.

Till he discovered otherwise, one day on a cold autumn morning at a motel he checked in for one night. He had awoken with a painful stab to his chest, causing his body to shake hysterical, blood oozing freely from his mouth. Going to the town's local doctor, they had conducted several test, but found nothing wrong. Now, Ed walked on the forest's abounded dirt road that'd lead him home, his mind still going all over the place.

It didn't hit him till the memory of that event several years ago came to mind, with the two large Chimera and the wound in his side. Exchanging parts of his life to close the wound, it was like solving a year's long puzzle. Parts of his life had been shaven off, making him a dying man in a young adult's body. Ed slapped his forehead, cursing his stupidity for forgetting about such a moment.

But then there was a new problem, he no longer was an alchemist. So, there was no way he could solve this by simply reading books. Ed, along his journey, had read books about reobtaining alchemy, before that letter from his brother forced him to back track.

As his boots sloshed against the water, his anxious mind drifted off to a numb place that'd wash away this moment of despair. He needed to get home, deciding to worry about this later.

…..

When Ed had returned home, he had least expected to see his brother already building a house. Unsure of what he was doing, he had called out to the blonde that stood around his height.

"Just building me something small," he yelled back with a smile as big as Ed's bright grin.

"Small? It's almost as big as Rockbell's." He still was not sure what to make of this, till Alphonse spilt the beans.

"Mei and I are married now, we got wedded in Xing, and she's coming here to live with me!"

Ed's heart slightly dropped, but he pushed that negative emotion away and gifted his brother with a proud smile. "Well geez, you could've mentioned that sooner, I'm proud of ya!"

Al grinned and returned to hammering the planks into the roof. Ed scratched his neck, standing there like a bug eyed tumbleweed. "Hey," he started gently. "Listen, since I just got back, want to go grab some lunch afterwards?"

Without looking away from his project, Al waved his hand, silently regarding the offer. "Sorry, I won't be able to today, maybe tomorrow. Mei will be here soon, so I really got to get this done."

Ed titled his head, stepping forward. "Maybe I can help take some of the load off yea." He reached his hand out to grasp the latter, but Al's dismissive hand waved him off, again.

"Sorry brother, but I think it'll go by faster if I used my alchemy. But don't worry, you can help me on the shed when this is done!" He smiled while clapping his hands together and summoning the alchemic lightning, sealing a big hole lodged into the roof.

Ed's frown lasted a mere second before replaced with a fake nonchalant smile. "Alright, I'm going to go grab a burger, I'll bring ya back something." He waited for a response, but got nothing but the furious pounds of Al's hammer, seemingly not hearing the offer for food.

Rolling his eyes, Ed gathered himself and walked off. That moment, he should've seen that was just the beginning. For the next few weeks, Al had continued to deny Ed's presence with various activities needing to be finished. He worked tediously, using Alchemy to fix the spots in need of the most repair. Along the way, Ed started to feel left out. He understood his brother was busy and didn't want to be distracted, but was taking a moment to spend some quality time to much to ask for?

Al had made the suggestion for Ed to go to Winry's, but the eldest Elric dodged that idea. He and Winry were not on speaking terms since their marriage did not work out. He informed Al of this, and almost always, the younger encouraged him to patch things up. Even if the problems were unfixable.

Then the weeks faded into months, Mei had moved in and Alphonse couldn't have been happier. They spent so much time together.

But Edward couldn't say the same. Growing so used to the months' of isolation, he had taken up residence many miles away from his family and friends' homes. He would occasionally go over for dinner, remembering how great of a cook Al was, or how kind Mei was in welcoming him.

But, alas, it was not the same as it was before. Ed would return home, regrettably missing the days Al was in his armor. He paused, scowling at that selfish thought, how dare he wish for something he gave up everything to fix. But it was so lonely, he just wished his brother was more open to company.

It was not Al's fault, he had a life, and he needed to live it. It's just Ed didn't have much of his own life left to enjoy, and he was running out of time.

He coughed up mounds of blood when returning home that night from his brother's place. Wasn't there for very long, Al wanted to tell him something, but his stomach was very uncooperative. Not wanting to spoil their carpet with his usual red vomit—he rushed home and readied himself for another normal night.

Pressing his face over the sink, more red bile spilt from his lips, repainting the white sink in red. His elbows shook like leaves in the wind as he weakly struggled to keep on his feet. Pulling away from the sink, he dodged the mirror, too afraid to see his reflection as he fell to his couch. His pale skin gleaming from the half-full moon shining through his open window. Every star seemed to be out that night, like a bunch of little fired up souls dancing through the Milky Way.

He threw off his jacket, shirt, and hair tie onto the floor. Lying on his side, he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Without alchemy, he had no way of solving this on his own, he needed another alchemist. His stubborn mind refused to go ask his brother, he was very busy. So, Ed made plans to head to his Teacher's place tomorrow.

…..

The visit to his teacher's had not gone as planned, on moment of arrival, only to find Izumi extremely ill and barely able to stand on her own two feet.

"Sorry kiddo," Sig answered, rubbing a giant hand on Ed's blonde head. "But doctor said she's got the flu, and can't be doing an rigorous activities. Maybe another time she can help you."

"Thanks Sig, call and let me know how she's doing." Ed gave a polite smile before dismissing himself out the door. The worst of luck hanging over his head in the shape of a metaphorical storm cloud.

More blood threatened to spill from his mouth, the color of his world fading to black and white. Ed was not sure if he was going color blind, but it sure felt like it was the second thing to go, after losing most of his strength.

He sighed, getting on a train to return home.

…..

The news Alphonse was going to be a father came so quickly, it almost made Ed faint. Mei revealed she was carrying twins, and Al was almost in near tears, he couldn't have been happier. Ed rejoiced with his brother, extremely happy of the news, till Al referred to him as _Uncle Edward._ The name, Al said, was a fitting replacement for his previous title 'Fullmetal Alchemist'. While Ed agreed, part of his heart had died that day. With his life shortened, his brother's plate filled up even more, and the fact he was not going to live long enough to even be an uncle.

"You're going to be a great uncle, brother!" Alphonse jeered with a cup of soda in his hand, a big grin plastered all over his face.

They sat together at the diner, discussing the news and celebrating. It felt so long since Ed had his brother alone, many years almost. It seemed like he had missed a part of Al's life, as the young man grew on to become a father and husband, obviously succeeding in his restored life. Except for Ed, who was failing.

Ed watched as Al scarfed down his drink, holding a cup of water in his normal right arm. Ensuring his brother didn't sense his turmoil, he weaved together the perfect mask, a deceptive smile. "I sure hope so," he added to Al's comment.

"What do ya mean? Of course you will." He laughed at his brother's usual dreary attitude. "Stop doubting yourself."

The hurt came in little by little, he dropped his head, letting his bangs sweep around his face. "I got to head home, expecting a phone call. Will see you later." He got up, chair squealing across the floor as he retreated out the door. Ignoring Al's desperate calls for him to wait.

He refused to tell Al the truth, he couldn't do that to him, not when he was expecting two children. His little brother had more important things to worry about, Ed was not about to burden him with his own problems.

…..

And so the seasons past, spring exploded into summer and then faded into fall. Ed hadn't been able to attend the birth of his nieces due to passing out on the road from blood loss. He left a note on the door to inform Al he'd be away, even though Al's visits were very rare. But, for the sake of being curdious, he left a note on the door regardless.

Mei had nearly died during the birth, which left Al in near hysteria. His children were healthy, so Ed would often have his little nieces over at his place to babysit, while Al tended to his sick wife.

Ed looked upon the faces of the twin girls, both were the spitting image of their father. But Mei, when awake, would often point out how much they both looked like their uncle.

He fought back the tears as he cradled both newborns tightly to his chest. Gifting the sleeping faces with a weak smile, he kissed both their forehead.

"At least I'm able to hold you two."

…..

Mei had recovered a few months later, now being well enough to assist in watching their kids. Alphonse was making breakfast as the Xing woman played with their daughters in the den. Raising her head, she turned and called out to her husband.

"Al, have you heard from Edward lately?"

Al almost dropped the glass of pepper, eyes widening. "No, I haven't, he usually comes by a few times a week. Even if his visits are short." He sighed, cradling his cheek with his hand while sitting down. "I don't get it."

"What do you not get?"

The younger Elric nervously massaged his forehead and eyes. "It just feels like Ed's been… vanishing. Like, his visits used to be a regular thing, now I hardly hear from him. Even when he does show up, he always leaves before I can ask otherwise."

Mei's blank was stopped at an obvious road block, unknowing of what to say to relax her stressed husband. "Maybe you should go by and visit, it's been a while since you stopped by."

Al looked up, his brass eyes showing signs of pain. "I gave up visiting, because every time I showed up, he was not there. I thought it'd be easier to wait for him to come on his accord."

The Xing woman shook her head, bottle feeding one of her daughters as the other played with a small red ball. "The way you sit at the window, staring off into space, for hours on end really tells me how bad you miss him."

Al fought off the tear that threatened to spill, it almost felt like he was reliving a moment of his childhood. When his father, one that used to be so loving and tentative, just upped and walked out without a single word. Of course, Ed was not walking out, but the feeling of mystery surrounding his lessening visits felt the same.

"I don't know what to do." Al finally admitted, gripping his knees in an almost death grip. "I don't know if he's upset about something, or just too busy. I want him to be in my children's life, _our_ life—but…" A tear sparkled on the rim of his eyes, leaving a thin clear trail down his cheek.

Pale, yet gentle, hands came to cup Alphonse's face, a thumb drying away his tears. "Please, do not cry. Just go to your brother's place tonight, and talk to him." She handed him a wrapped bottle of soup as a gift to present when he arrived. "Maybe bringing him some soup would be good."

Smiling, Al kissed her forehead and enveloped her in his arms. Without another word, he got the offering and rushed out the door, grabbing his coat in the process.

It was many miles, but Alphonse got to his brother's without much trouble, despite the angry storm winds. Trailing up the steps, he stopped at the door and delivered a few swift knocks. His brother's windows were open, so he was definitely home.

The youngest Elric waited and waited, but still no one answered. Something didn't feel right, so following his gut, Al rushed to one of the windows and leaped through it. Landing on his bare feet, he was greeted by total darkness. Worry snaked through his heart as he started walking through the den, eyes searching for a light switch.

When he reached the kitchen, he saw a sight he was not expecting to see. Ed lied on the floor face first, his hand resting on an upturned chair with a shattered plate lying by his head, discarded pieces of veggies and meat littered area. Blood was leaking from his nose and mouth as Ed laid still, like a corpse.

Seeing his brother lay in that position automatically brought on a flash back of the day he and Ed discovered their mom lying in a similar position. Heart pounding, Al dropped the gift, the glass shattering onto the floor, the brown liquids of the tomato soup flowing freely.

"Brother!" Al's voice cried through the night.

…

Al sat in a chair right beside his brother's bed side. A neighbor had heard his cries from Ed's home and assisted him in rushing the passed out man to his home. The storm that now ravaged the mountain side made any effort to head to the hospital seem futile.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," Ed managed to say, throat still soar.

"What happened?" Al asked, his voice strained and neutral, as if unsure of how to feel.

Ed couldn't bring himself to face his brother, so he settled with staring at the window instead. "I just had a black out, it happens every now and then."

Those words seemed to have a negative impact as Al drew his gaze to stare at the former state alchemist. "When did you start having black outs?" His vocals carried an obvious hint of worry. "I don't remember you ever suffering from anything like that."

He frowned, Ed's brain refusing to spill the truth, the hurt in his brother's eyes brought even more dread to his core. "I've just been tired lately, don't worry about me." He breathed out an exhausted sigh, using his weak arms to fight gravity that prevented him from sitting up.

Seeing Ed's struggle to get up rang alarm bells. "Brother, where are you going?" He stood to his bare feet, the black night robe he wore tied snugly to his thin frame.

"Home, you've taken care of me long enough."

"You've only been here for a few hours." Al protested, moving to grab Ed's arm to prevent him from walking off. "I don't care, you're not leaving till I know your better."

Ed's pupils shrank like a deer caught in headlights, but he replaced the look with a stubborn yet sarcastic smile. "Ah, come on Al, you have a wife and children, don't waste your energy caring for me. You have more important things to worry about." He yelped when Al delivered a hard punch to his shoulder before forcing him to lay back down.

"Don't you ever say that," he hissed, hurt wedging its way through his heart. "You're just as important to me as my family, you ARE my family, brother."

Ed was completely thrown off by this angry burst of emotion, but didn't say anything regarding the outburst. Al looked to be near tears as he turned away and grabbed an extra blanket, fighting back his bubbling emotions as he draped the garb over his brother's body.

"Please, just try and rest. I'll be in the next room with Mei if ya need me."

After Al had left, Ed waited for about hour, double checking to ensure his brother was asleep. Getting up, he tip toed across the hall and towards his niece's room. Smiling, he grabbed the doorknob and cracked the wooden barrier, peaking into the babys' room.

His saw his two blonde nieces curled up together in the same small crib that once housed him and Alphonse. Shutting the door behind him, he approached the girls, sitting down in the empty rocking chair.

As if sensing his presence, the slightly older one opened her golden eyes, spotting her uncle and happily cooing in response. Reaching out for him, Ed took her tiny hands, her skin was so smooth and soft, eyes glowing with a strong sense of innocence. Getting up, he bent down and hoisted the child up.

"You should be asleep, but might as well." He grinned, looking on the girl that was the spitting image of himself. "You're a real cutie, aren't you?" He rubbed his face against her, blowing air on her belly as the little girl burst with laughter.

Then her twin awoke, wanting some of the action, he released an annoyed whine, grasping for the adult's attention. Ed laughed at the tantrum, already seeing this one had his temper as he reached down and recovered her in his free arm. He held them both there, peppering them in kisses and nuzzling their little faces. Both girls squealed in delight before Ed hastily shushed them.

Looking at their sparkling faces, a small micro teared emerged at his eye. Reality of his situation weighed on his shoulders as he held the warm bundles in his arms, realizing how much he was going to miss. Inhaling a deep breath, he pressed them both to his faces and whispered.

"Listen, I may not be around when you two grow up, so you might not even remember me. But, before I go, I want to tell you two—that your uncle loves you very much. Though I won't be in your future, I'll always be in your memories, just… please be sure to remember."

Kissing them once more, Ed had fallen asleep in the chair with both little girls pressed to his chest.

…..

A week had passed since Ed's forced stay in his brother's home. Al had been hovering around him constantly, monitoring his progress. Worried about his brother's well-being, Ed forced on a fake show of recovery, which eased Al's anxious state and backed off from breathing down his neck.

Even though Ed perceived himself as healthy, he wasn't, he was getting worse. Sneaking outside to hide himself when he'd vomit messy piles of blood, or when he'd feed his meals to the dogs because he couldn't stomach the food. He was also losing weight rapidly, due to lack of nutrition his body refused to absorb. When Al would weigh him, Ed would often stuff his pockets with small weights in order to fool his brother.

"Come brother, dinner time!" Al yelled at the stove, slaving away over the tofu, veggies, and some fresh steamed pork. He was a vegetarian, but Mei and Ed were the biggest carnivores he knew, so he made sure to cook a variety.

Mei was already in the den, preparing to go upstairs and retrieve their daughters. But was halted by the sight of Edward, weakly hobbling down the stairs with both girls housed securely in his arms. She gasped at how awful he looked, sweat rolling down his skin with dark bags hanging beneath his eyes.

"Edward—what?" She watched as the taller man slid past her, dragging his feet with both girls resting comfortably on him.

Hearing the commotion, Al craned his head to peer over the kitchen bar and froze when his brother's back passed him. Ed sat both girls down in their high chairs, gently wrapping their bibs on and pulling out a chair. Shaking, he got some of the fresh baby food from the table and started feeding them one at a time. The little girls ate with much gusto, sucking in the food with as much gusto as their only uncle.

Al slowly watched the sight, it was so cute, but something felt off. His heart tore, seeing his brother struggle just to hold the spoon as he fed his nieces.

"Brother…" He whispered, slowly going over, wearing his bathrobe, and placed a hand on his broad shoulder. "Why don't you go back to bed, I can finish feeding them."

"No no, I can do it. I want to." He smiled as he wiped the mess one his nieces made on her face. He brushed his brother's hand off his shoulder, reassuring him he was okay.

The entire dinner was quiet, Al and Mei watched with fixed feeling as Ed put all his focus on the twins instead of his food. He smiled as he finally started eating his food, letting one of the girls hold onto his pinky. Then he spoke up, much to Al's surprise.

"Hey, why don't you all head out tomorrow night, have some dinner, I can watch the girls."

Mei and Al exchanged nervous glances, before Mei smiled. "That's very sweet of you Ed, but you should rest."

"Please?" He asked, giving her a very soft smile.

Before Alphonse could protest, Mei agreed, unable to deny Ed's request. "Alright, we'll head out tomorrow, let you have some quality time with your nieces."

"Thank you," Ed nodded gently, dropping his head as an ominous shadow veiled his eyes. "That'll make me feel a lot better."

…..

Al paced around his room, dressed in a white button up shirt and kakis. "Mei, I don't think this is a good idea, leaving my brother alone." He stressed, sitting down for the millionth time. "You should've never agreed to this without consulting my opinion first, Mei."

"Stop fretting, honey." Mei called, braiding her hair as she looked in the mirror, powdering her nose shortly after her hair was complete. "Your older brother wants to watch his nieces, how can you even say no to that?"

"Because something is wrong, I can just feel it." He argued, his toes ruffling his wool socks in sheer worry. "He can barely stand on his two feet, it looks like he's fading… l-like mom did."

"Alphonse," Mei snapped sternly, taking his hands. "Do NOT think about that, don't let your mind fall into the depression you had fought so long to prevent." She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and hugging him tight. "Your brother is just tired, don't always assume the worst. Now, let's go out and have a good time."

Nodding, Al eventually got dressed and head down stairs with Mei trailing right behind. In the den, listening to the radio, were both the twins sitting on the floor with their stuffed animals in hand. Ed stood in the kitchen, wearing a droopy black shirt and red sweats, cooking himself a can of beans and re-heating the baby food. Sensing the parents, he turned and grinned at them.

"Hey, you two gonna head out now?"

"Yes, we'll be back—"

Alphonse interrupted Mei Chang. "We'll only be a few hours away at the diner, so you can call us at the pay phone if you need _anything._ The neighbors are also home tonight, so you can call them to, there's an emergency number to dial on the fridge. We won't be gone long."

Ed chuckled at his worry wart of a brother. "Relax, everything is under control. Now, go out and have fun."

Sighing, Al reluctantly followed his wife out of the home and disappearing into the distance fog.

…

A few hours had passed since their departure, and Edward sat down on the couch. Putting the twins down for a nap, Ed's vision drifted in out of darkness and light. He gasped for a much needed breath, dropping his hands to his knees, feeling splotches of blood drip from his mouth and stain his shirt. Starting at his hands, he closed his eyes and balled up his fist, snarling.

"Damn you, truth." He knew that white entity knew he had shaved some years off his life, and understood that sacrificing his alchemy, he wouldn't be able to save himself. But he had to save his brother, so he didn't think about it. Yet, he had no anticipated the problems would happen this soon.

Despite his efforts to find a solution, Ed slowly came to terms that sometimes—there was no way out. He had already sheered parts of his life to save himself at that moment, and without alchemy, there really was no hope. But, even Ed did have his alchemy, he was starting to understand even that wouldn't save him.

When it came to death, there was no equivalent exchange. As he learned, he could only fix Al's problem because he was still alive, not dead. Ed's condition was near death, so logically speaking, there was no way to fix this.

After dealing with this for all these years, a sense of peace suddenly washed through Ed's heart. Sitting back, he breathed in and pressed a tired hand to his face. It was near time.

Getting up with renewed strength, Ed drug himself over to the table, getting a piece of paper and an ink quill. Sitting down, he slowly started to write the things he couldn't bring himself to say sooner. Finishing, he folded it up and placed it on the bar, a spot he knew his brother would find it.

Sighing, he bravely squared his shoulders and went to his nieces. Recovering them again, he sighed and kissed both their heads.

"Uncle Ed is… running out of time." He chuckled as he shook his head, letting the formerly unwanted tears begin to fall down his face. "Kind of funny, so long ago, I would fight tooth and nail to get your daddy's body back—but I never cared for my limbs. Yet now, here I am, unable to do anything about this."

He resituated his arms when both the twins started to grunt in discomfort. "I guess it is true, what they say, eventually—you just can't fight anymore. Your body is giving up before your spirit."

His heart skipped a beat, he held his breath, feeling something in his gut drop. Unsure of what it was, Ed gently put his nieces down and went upstairs to the bathroom. Looking in the nearest bathroom, his eyes widen at the reflection staring back. It was like he was watching himself in a black and white movie.

Pupils shaking, his mouth flat lined as a feeling of numb paralyzed his limbs. Removing himself from the mirror, he looked up to the ceiling—and smiled.

…

Mei was the first to come in, a hefty smile gearing her face. "Everyone, mommy and daddy are home!" When she received no answer, an eyebrow rose and she stepped further in. "Edward, you up?"

Alphonse came in, also taken aback by the silence. "It is kind of late, maybe he's upstairs."

"I'll go check," Mei volunteered for Al. "I'm betting he's sleeping with his nieces, he loves those two. Sometimes I wonder why he hasn't had any kids of his own, he'd make a great father!"

Al frowned at that comment, memory of Ed's divorce hitting him hard as he looked away. "Yea, he really would have made a great father. Maybe one, he can meet someone."

Mei walked upstairs, out of ear shot. Al retired to the kitchen, his hands blindly fumbling through the dark to find the light switch. Feeling a small lever, his thumb flicked it up, activating the bulbs and bringing light to the once dark place.

"That's better—oh?" Something caught his line of sight, a small folded slip of paper. Grabbing it, he opened it up and read over the content.

The words, at first, didn't make much sense, but he continued reading. Before he could get to the middle, a loud scream punctured his ear drums. Dropping the paper, he turned and ran upstairs, fear pounding his heart like a drum.

"Mei?" He yelled, whooshing the door to his daughters' room open. But what lied before him, he was not prepared to see.

Mei stood over a lounging finger, hands clasped over her mouth with salty tears pouring down like rain. Shaking, she stepped away, her shadow no longer blocking the light. Revealing the grey body of his older brother, lying on his side, no movement made.

Feeling his breath catch in his throat, Al rushed past Mei and fell to his knees. Grabbing Ed's arm, he felt his skin was cold as ice, almost like a corpse. He yelled his name, tears gathering in his eyes as the commotion caused his daughters to cry.

Ed had apparently put his nieces to bed and lied down on the floor next to the crib, pushing his arm through bars and allowing their tiny hands to hold his. Both his eyes were open, void of life, as grey as a cold stone.

…..

A few months passed, and Al still came to Edward's grave that stood right next to their mother's. Still, the tears came, just as heavily as they did the moment he discovered him that night.

"Brother," he wept, slipping to his knees and placing both hands on his head stone. "You were always there for me, chasing away the darkness when I lost my body—the odds were always stacked against us. Yet, no matter what, you kept pushing through… especially when I couldn't."

He ran his hands over the words carved into the headstone.

Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist.

Hero of the people

Caring uncle and loving brother

It was almost like he was in a dream, living in a world not governed by reality. The written words seemed so fake, as if his brain refused to accept the 3-lined story they clearly told. Even if he'd been re-reading the same tale in the same spot for half a year. Clearly, his mind understood, but his heart did not.

That day they discovered Ed, a chunk of Al's heart went with him. He felt even more empty then the day he lost his entire physical being after attempting the taboo. More tears stung his eyes as he dry heaved, hunching over the mound of dirt that faded into the grass.

He knew, ever since the beginning, Ed was the reason he lived, that gave his life reason. It was because of Edward, he was able to restore his hopes and dreams of falling in love and having a family. But, what Al did not consider in the beginning, was what'd happen IF brother had left?

Now, he knew the answer—that his life spent in that armor was never empty, because his reason was always standing proudly draped in that dramatic red coat by his side. Even if he wasn't human at that time, Al never did fully see his life truly was not that bad.

Ed fulfilled his life, hallow shell or not, he was always there. That's what the truth was, and now it was too late to fix it.

If he could, he'd gladly put his soul back into that medieval armor if it'd bring Ed back. But, he knew that'd piss Edward off, perhaps even more then calling him short.

A hurt smile tinged at his lips, but the tears still rushed down his reddening face. For several months, Al had fallen into a depression, losing weight and hair gaining length. Looking in the mirror, he started to resemble his old-self from the time he spent trapped in the gate.

But, what hurt the most, was the letter that he carried around like a life-support. The one his brother wrote, addressed to him and his family, he never misplaced it. Losing it would feel like a death sentence. He'd never re-read it, because his mind new the words so well…

 _Alphonse, Mei_

 _I… don't even know what to say at this moment, besides I'm sorry. There's been something I've been hiding for a few years now, something I hadn't taken into consideration since defeating Father and restoring Al's body. But, seeing as my time is now to short, I feel it'd be best to tell you the truth._

 _I was dying._

 _Back in the north, several years ago, a situation had befallen me, a problem that I failed to tell Alphonse about. It didn't cross my mind, because I took care of it. To get to the point, I was lethally injured for showing mercy to someone who didn't deserve it—and I paid the price._

 _I don't need to give an explanation on what I did, as Al should know. Any Alchemist who searched for the Philosopher will understand what I did without explanation._

 _In short, I had indirectly shortened my life. At first, I considered it was only a few years, nothing to worry about, right? All I had to was stay healthy. By the time Alphonse moved back to Resembool, I noticed, despite all my efforts, my health was declining. I didn't understand at first, the thought didn't hit me till you got married._

 _So, why am I sorry? Because of all the hell I have put you all through. For committing the taboo, for dragging us through all sorts of danger, and most of all… I'm sorry for not telling you, Al, about my condition._

 _Believe me when I say, it was not my intention to keep it a secret. I thought I could handle it, you're my brother and you had a life to live—duties, you were a husband and father. I just didn't want to drag you down._

 _For a while, I thought you were too busy for me. Realizing that it took me this long to understand how wrong I was, I'm so so ashamed. Now, I don't have the strength OR time to take it all back._

 _I never deserved to be your brother, Alphonse. You saved me so many times, supported me when I hurt, reminded me I had to keep moving, and the best of all… giving me two beautiful girls I dreamt of having. You made my dream come true, being your daughters' uncles was… a miracle words cannot even describe._

 _For that, I am truly proud, to call you my baby brother._

 _You grew to be such a fine young man, loyal husband, and dedicated father. I know I speak the truth, because I had the pleasure of being a chosen witness._

 _So for all that, even if I know it's not my place—I have but one more favor to ask._

 _Please, don't ever forget me. My greatest fear as a dying man was becoming a faded memory, a broken heart that the world forgot._

 _You gave my life meaning Alphonse._

 _So please, go live yours._

 _And never forget._

The tears fell even more as he remembered every syllable of that letter. Tightening his fist over the grave _,_ bowing his head.

"You damn idiot," he wept. "I would never forget you, not when YOU were the one who made my life meaningful. Did you even stop to consider what you've done for me?"

Al didn't know why he was talking to a stone while knowing no one was going to answer back. But he needed to get this weight off his chest.

"Your letter, you've written you felt unworthy to be my brother… you stupid idiot. Brother, you've done more for me than vice versa, honestly—I probably could've lived in that suit of armor, as long as you remained by my side. But… I am still grateful, every day, of all the sacrifices you made."

Then his mind raced back to the years prior, when he was building his house, how he denied his brother half of the time. Realization punched his gut as his grown out bangs fell over his eyes.

"I should've never denied you my time, you mattered just as much to me as my family. Because you ARE my family, brother… why did you question that?"

The wind brushed his hair back like a soft gently hand caressing his face. A white lily floated past him in the breeze, descending towards the stars high above. Al smiled, glassy eyes sparkling to the out of reach stars.

"If you can hear me, brother, I have a favor to ask." He wiped the tears with his sleeve, grinning a bittersweet smile.

"I won't forget you, but in exchange… I want you to wait for me."


End file.
